Ask Ructions: Dinner Drama.
Dear Ructions,
I don’t know how much you socialize with people in politics. You may not know that a simple dinner can be salted with land mines. A high ranking official of a former administration continues to be surprised at how few people keep in touch. I tried to arrange a dinner earlier this year for the former powerful figure and what I thought were some friends. Invitations were met with angry tales of arrogant, dismissive, and even cruel treatment. The calls included a lot of swearing on both ends. An ominous forecast intervened and caused us to cancel so I didn’t have to explain why so few people had agreed to attend.
I’m committed to trying again because the former official’s inbox remains bereft of invitations—even to fundraising events. How do I make this a pleasant occasion with more than just three of us at a forlorn table?
Sign me,
Trying
Dear Trying,
Ructions is not a stranger to the awkward social encounter. I continue to be surprised that people wielding power in the ugliest ways think no one will remember the slights and wounds. I admire your benevolent intent but you need to employ some stage management. No one will consider a tableful of muttering diners a success. Also, you don’t want every guest thinking they made a big deposit in your favor bank by showing up.
Pick a popular restaurant where you know the manager. Make your reservation in person. Slip the manager a generous wad of cash for reserving the table next to yours in the name of the person who now holds the job your mean guest of honor held. Tell your reluctant friends you saw who also has a reservation that night. They will be happy for a chance to ingratiate themselves with the new regime. Have the manager mention after the evening has begun that the official cancelled at the last minute.
You’re not done. On the afternoon of the dinner, give one discontented guest permission to work into the conversation an incident with the former official in a vivid but humorous recounting. If it is not met with an expression of regret, you have arranged your last dinner for the forlorn bully. Some regretful acknowledgement of past abuses may inspire someone else to take up your burdens.
If you are impaled on the horns of a dilemma and want to risk receiving advice, send a message to kfr@dailyructions.com. Identities will be protected. Messages may be edited.