Ask Ructions: Election Night Courtesy and a Podcast Recommendation
Dear Ructions,
This requires a quick response. I am running for office on Tuesday for the first time. The campaign has been more unpleasant than I expected when I was asked to run last summer. Veterans on our side fired back at the other team and it has escalated in the last few weeks. I’ve made my husband and children stop reading Facebook because they were spending hours plotting responses to nasty locals.
The other night we had a team-building dinner with our candidates and our families. It was a lovely evening until I suggested that on election night the losing team, which we could be, should congratulate the winners in person. The opposition to the idea was loud and persistent—the worst hoots coming from my husband and one of our teenage children.
We agreed to ask you and take your advice.
Sign me,
Ready to extend a hand
Dear Hand,
Every community has its own political culture. Yours sounds like it may be deteriorating under the malign influence of social media. I applaud your instincts on healing wounds. Congratulations on recognizing opinionated teenagers may not be reliable sources of advice beyond coping with evolving technology. The winners—no doubt some from each ticket—are going to need to work together. Voters do not like permanent strife in town government.
Ask a friend to contact the leader of the other party to tell them where you’ll be on Tuesday night and ask for their venue. If your side loses, the candidates and your campaign manager should go to them. Do not take family members on this mission. Spread out and congratulation the winners. Accept a token of hospitality and leave together. Don’t linger. Time and alcohol may erode some filters. Smiles only. Don’t give them the satisfaction of a sad picture. In defeat, polite defiance.
If you win, welcome the losers to your celebration. Applaud their gracious gesture. Tell your husband and children and the steaming candidate families there is no gloating allowed.
Everyone lives in the same town. They are going to run into each other outside of political tussles. No one should regret adding a few grace notes to politics in this coarse age.
You’re right to hope other towns will follow gracious suggestion. You sound like a leader in advanced formation.
This seems the moment to recommend a podcast. How to Fail With Elizabeth Day “is a podcast that celebrates the things that haven’t gone write” through entertaining interviews with each episode’s guest. Winners will also profit from listening to it. How to Fail originates from Britain but Day is so talented it matters not at all that the listener may be unfamiliar with the guest.
If you are impaled on the horns of a dilemma and want to risk receiving advice, send a message to kfr@dailyructions.com. Identities will be protected. Messages may be edited.