Ask Ructions: Remembering Names.
Dear Ructions,
My days and nights are filled with events attended by strangers. Not exactly strangers. People I met while campaigning whose names I never knew or have forgotten. I have run out of ways to feign recognition. Guessing with confidence and getting the name wrong has caused some uncomfortable moments. People notice. How can I do better at recognizIng these people—whose help I will need again?
Sign me,
Blanking
Dear Blank,
Do this in a pinch. If you come across someone whose name you realize you should know but don’t, immediately announce your contacts were scrambled when you transferred them to your iPhone 11 before the first iOS update. Before they say one word, they must AirDrop their contact to you. You’ll then see the name and flatter the well-wisher into thinking you had their contact information all along.
Use that device sparingly. For the long term, take these steps. Start directing your attention away from yourself. You may be the center of your own universe, but no one else’s. Ask for a list of attendees expected to be at each event. When you meet someone, stop looking around to see if someone more useful is nearby. Repeat the person’s name upon hearing it, use it in the conversation and when saying goodbye. After the event, make a list of the people you have met.
You can practice this method at sparsely attended events. Get Lt. Governor Susan Bysiewicz’s schedule and show up at some of her meetings—almost no one goes to them but she needs to justify a full-time driver.
A final bit of counsel. Don’t try to get away with using endearments on women in the 21st century. Abandon calling unfamiliar men “Buddy”. I offer this from experience. Anyone who calls me “Buddy” does not know me. I am certain I am not alone in this. Need I caution you
About what someone your age sounds like saying “Dude”?
If you are impaled on the horns of a dilemma and want to risk receiving advice, send a message to kfr@dailyructions.com. Identities will be protected. Messages may be edited.