Ask Ructions. What’s the Recipe for a Peaceful Thanksgiving?
Dear Ructions,
Thanksgiving. Crowded family dinner. A of couple of voluble relatives with nothing but opinions about him. You know who I mean. How do we resist the provocations that are certain to grow through the afternoon and evening. Last year’s touch football game became a tournament of rage.
Fixin’ for a fight
Dear Fixin’,
Expand the pool of guests. Some college students are unable to spend Thanksgiving with family due to distance or athletics team commitments. Ask your hosts if you might bring a couple of them. Their presence may serve as a silent enforcer of courtesy. Make sure the students are on your football team, a caution against older players’ boozy delusions of prowess.
Divert. At the first opportunity, which sounds like it will come early, announce the most important vote facing America is the one on The Voice. Everyone ought to agree an injustice will occur if the magnificent Katie Kadan does not win. There are certain to be other fans of the Chicago wonder at the family gathering. Make sure everyone is registered to vote for The Voice. That should kill some time and lead to other topics that have nothing to do with our fraught politics.
Katie Kadan’s sensational turns may be causing me to overestimating the power of talent to unite for a few hours. You may be powerless to stop family members (I hope they are in-laws) from hailing, minimizing or excusing their hero’s embrace of dictators and nutty conspiracy theories. Ask them if they were in peril who they would rather have on their side: Jim Jordan, Devan Nunes and Elise Stefanik or Fiona Hill, Bill Taylor and Alexander Vindman?
Leave early. Thanksgiving continues to be shortened by encroaching retail hours. Best Buy must be offering something you absolutely must have for on of your relatives at a never-before-low-price that is only available to the first 50 customers. Whisper that you are getting that television that includes Alexa for a niece or nephew everyone holds in great affection.
Bargains will soothe the sharpest partisan divides. You will be free to go without incident.
If you are impaled on the horns of a dilemma and want to risk receiving advice, send a message to kfr@dailyructions.com. Identities will be protected. Messages may be edited.